Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 166:3 and Chacham Ovadia Yosef (Shu”t Yabea Omer EH 3:10:3) agree. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 410 writes that he isn’t concerned for the Sidrei Tahara that she had a hargasha and missed it. Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:6) writes that even though we hold like the second opinion in Shulchan Aruch that it is technically permitted, one should try to avoid getting married on a Motzaei Shabbat. These bedikot should be done carefully and need not penetrate as deeply as those after marriage. A woman who accepts a proposal of marriage is considered susceptible to bleeding from anticipation of the upcoming wedding (dam chimud). ↑ Sefer Hamiknah 64:3 says that although we hold that the concern of chilul Shabbat doesn’t apply to Sunday, it does on Motzaei Shabbat. Rashi explains that Rav and Shmuel were discussing even a woman who didn’t have her period yet. However, all other women have the same halacha based on the minhag either from the Yerushalmi or the geonim. My tevilah night falls out this Thursday. See, however, Shivat Tzion 69 who disagrees with Raavad in explaining Rav Hai Goan. If after the second biyah there is blood on a colored sheet some poskim are lenient and some are strict. See Aruch Hashulchan who says that she should check the sheets for blood after the second biyah.
The Mishna Niddah 64b establishes that according to Bet Hillel a virgin who is younger than the age when it is normal to first get a period and gets married isn't tameh the night of her wedding even if there is blood. However, if on the second time she finds nothing she is tahora. A bride should check with the rabbi performing the marriage, or with her kallah teacher, to determine which opinion to follow and thus the proper procedure. Shulchan Aruch 193:1 codifies the opinion of the Rashba. Therefore, he concludes that you certainly should not push off your wedding for this, especially if you are over 20 years old. A rabbi should be consulted. Rav Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 502 is lenient as long as there wasn’t a complete biyah with the entire ever inside. He cites the Chazon Ish who said that in Bnei Brak he ruled until 10pm it is considered open to the public. Therefore, every bride, even if she is already past menopause, must count seven blood-free days and immerse in the mikveh prior to her wedding. Mishmeret Hatahara 193:6 is strict and rejects the proof from the Maharsha who was speaking according to the gemara's din and not the rishonim's chumra. One may get married any other day of the week, although there may be some preference to getting married on a Thursday. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional. Two halachic principles must be considered when planning the mikveh immersion prior to a wedding. Even though the Hagahot Maimoniyot 11:1 quotes the Raavad as being lenient if she doesn’t find any blood, he also cites Rashi, Roke’ach, and Ramban as being strict. 36). He writes that common practice was to allow weddings during this time, and that he himself got married on the 6th of Tishrei.
Further, if the couple continues to delay intercourse, there is a higher likelihood of the kallah’s becoming niddah before they have had relations. If a couple had pre-marital sex (which is completely forbidden) there's no dam betulim. Together with all the planning and preparations for the wedding, both members of the couple should set aside time to learn the important and complex laws of niddah, which will now become relevant to them. The Raavad holds that the chatan may only exit after the ever was limp (meyt), however, the Rashba (Torat Habayit 5b) disagrees because dam betulim is only a rabbinic concern and they only imposed it after he comes out. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 writes that finding a ketem on a sheet immediately after tashmish if she had biya sheniya. On the other hand, some couples do feel uncomfortable with the idea of […] As the wedding approaches, the bride puts these laws into practice. Rashi s.v. Also, a woman whose hymen tore before her wedding would still be considered a betulah (virgin), as this term refers to never having had sexual intercourse and not to the status of the hymen. Chacham Ovadia Yabea Omer EH 6:7 writes that you can technically get married even during the day of a fast, but ideally should do it either the night before or the night after. However, the Bet Yosef 193:1 explains that the Rambam and Rif understood Rav and Shmuel as only referring to a woman who already saw her period, whether she was a naarah or a bogeret. If this were the only relevant principle, she could immerse as soon as she has completed the taharah process. If there was blood after the first biyah, even if it was incomplete, and she was tameh, then after the second biyah if there's no blood she's tahora. Since this bleeding may be so slight that it goes unnoticed, the rabbis decreed that such a woman is considered niddah even if she is unaware of any bleeding. 327-328) did advise that people not get married after the twenty-second of the month, and certainly not on the last day of the month, except in the month of Adar, as it is hard to ignore a concern mentioned explicitly in the Shulchan Aruch. Rav Ashi in Gemara Niddah 65b explains that the rabbis permitted him to complete his biyah the first time otherwise there is a concern that he will be afraid of getting involved altogether. The practice of taking a honeymoon immediately after the wedding isn't a proper practice because immediately after the wedding the woman is a niddah and it'll be hard to keep all of the laws of niddah.
Tzitz Eliezer 7:49 prohibits even this (see HaNisuin Kehilchatom 5:44-45 for sources on opinions in both directions). They are possible because the hymen has a hole that allows menstrual blood to exit. Rama is lenient if there’s no blood and they only did haarah, which certainly includes the insertion of the crown. There are differing opinions as to whether one may get married on a fast day. For a woman after the first biyah as long as she didn’t have her regular period the man can sit on her bed when she isn’t around. As the wedding approaches, the bride puts these laws into practice. Since you don’t believe that the time of the month you get married actually indicates anything for the future, you are not in violation of nichush. Although some say that one should not get married on a Sunday, common practice is to be lenient. The Wedding Night Nightmare by Anonymous. velo, he adds that it sounds like the other poskim that don't mention this requirement disagree with the Cheker Halacha. Badei Hashulchan sides with the Minchat Yitzchak. The Badei Hashulchan 193:20 cites the Cheker Halacha who says that if they didn't have a complete biyah she needs to do a bedika in order to be tahora. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. This page was last edited on 19 August 2019, at 03:28. Rambam Hilchot Ishut 10:14 based on Ketubot 5a forbids weddings on Friday or Sunday because this may lead to chilul shabbat. This is codified in Rambam Hilchot Yom Tov 7:16, Shulchan Aruch OC 546:1 and EH 64:6, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:4). This page was last edited on 13 September 2020, at 16:54. Pitchei Teshuva 64:4 quotes from Shu”t Rama 124 that getting married on a Sunday is a violation of chukat hagoyim. Beitza 36b, S”A OC 339:4 and 524:1, and EH 64:5, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:8) write that one cannot get married on Shabbat or Yom Tov since a wedding involves a legal transaction that cannot be contracted on those days.
Badei Hashulchan 193:19 advances several reasons why one could be lenient if they didn't find blood, she didn't feel pain, and they don't know if there was a complete biyah. See also the Sefer Eshkol (cited by Taharat Habayit p. 498) who suggests that the reason for dam betulim is because of a concern out of an excitement of the first biyah she might see blood like dam chimud. The halacha is that every virgin whether or not she is bat mitzvah and whether or not she had her period yet, after the first biyah she is a niddah. Ten Minute Halacha Scheduling a Wedding Date, https://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Scheduling_a_Wedding_Date&oldid=28716, It is permissible to get married during Elul. There is, however, an additional principle that affects the timing of her immersion. I was your regular out-of-town Bais Yaakov girl. It is permissible to get married during the month of Cheshvan. Tosafot (Ketubot 7a d”h Vehilchita) says that in practice there is no concern about Shabbat desecration with regard to a Friday wedding, and Rif, Rosh, and Tur all concur (EH 64; Beit Yosef EH 64). Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:2). Badei Hashulchan 193:16 quotes the Chachmat Adam who says that even if the man didn't have shichvat zera come out she is nonetheless tameh since the rabbis made the woman tameh after the first biyah as a general rule. umistabra) agree. Shulchan Aruch 193:1 codifies this. If the woman reached the age when it is normal for her to have a period she is only tahor for four nights. He concludes it is between 15 seconds and 3 minutes. The hymen is also somewhat stretchable. It is permissible to get married on Purim. A rabbi should be consulted. ↑ Dvar Halacha 3:14 quotes the Knesset Hagedola and others that the definition of night for public depends on when people are traveling the streets. After the first biyah she is tameh as a regular niddah with all of the regular restrictions and need for a hefsek tahara, bedikot, and tevilah.
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