He's just crazy enough to do it. Sheriff Andy Taylor: You could put a sign in the window saying 'Two Chairs - No Waiting.'. But that's because of something that he's been trying to teach me every since I started working for him. How'd that happen? Barney Fife: [Picking up the phone] Sarah, get me Juanita at the diner.

Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.”, “You better hush. First sign of youngsters goin' wrong, you got to nip it in the bud. Say you'll be my beloved!

Goober Pyle: He wasn't? Aunt Bee Taylor: Did you like the white beans you had for supper? Sheriff Andy Taylor: Yeah, plus the $20.
He just moves his lips! It's not a whim anymore if you put on clean underwear!

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, Aunt Bee wants to see the new models; she's thinking of trading in her old car. I mean knowing how everything's gonna come out. Barney Fife: [about Briscoe's decision not to kill Ernest T] It's a wise man who knows not to push the limits of the law. Sheriff Andy Taylor: [while Andy Taylor and Jim Linsey played guitars. Deputy Barney Fife: [as seductive as a nervous little guy can be] Let's you and me dance. Barney Fife: Listen here, Ernest T. Bass! Andy Taylor: [Picking up the phone] Sarah? Goober Pyle: Well, they got to be if you ain't got a big car. Barney Fife: I'll say it right to your face, Otis, you've got a pickled liver! Now, uhh... Oh, that reminds me. Been quite a day's work.”, “I don't want him to be the kind of boy lookin' for fights, but I don't want him to run from one when he's in the right.”, “Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? What'd you do that for? Deputy Barney Fife: He buttered her up and she egged him on!

Deputy Barney Fife: [Testifying at hearing]... Why Andy's the best friend I got in the whole world. Barney Fife: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the man with the hex. 'Cause I don't want to. Ernest T. Bass: I'm no account, Andy. Deputy Barney Fife: [Floyd and he have run out of gas, and in walking about looking for some have arrived at a mountain cabin belonging to wealthy Mr. O'Malley. Sheriff Andy Taylor: I'm-I'm looking for the announcement of the auto show in Raleigh; it opened yesterday. Sheriff Andy Taylor: She's just thinking of trading it in; she might keep it. Barney Fife: Gentlemen, I give you science in action. Rummage Sale Customer: I always wanted one. A Townsman: [Talking about the sidecar] Sheriff, if you fill it up with water you can take a bath on the way. Bobby Fleet: That's just what I mean.

Judy. You're the best guitar player I ever heard. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well you just tried to bribe me is all. Ernest T. Bass: I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. Repeat!

There is your criminal. Howard Sprague: Just an expression, Goob. Goober Pyle: You know that's not as stupid as it looks, readin' a day-old paper.
You've outsmarted justice and you've made a mockery of this court, and you've turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my side. Andy Taylor: Well, sure that applies to septic tank pumpers... sure. Barney Fife: I did not start it, he started it! Web. Terms of Use • Sheriff Andy Taylor: [reading a note tied to a rock Ernest T. Bass threw through the window] "Maybe you goin' to have a weddin', and maybe you goin' to have a preacher; but you might not have a bride. I beat him to it this time. He's a friend. Forget the part about the half a boy. Can you let me have $5?


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