File this under: Websites We Didn't Know Still Existed and Famous Names We Assumed Were Pen Names, but Actually Belong to Real People. Trust me, it’s not. When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. Born in Texas in 1949, Jack Handy had his first book published by National Lampoon in 1984. Joke from Jack Handy 8 Broken promises don’t upset me. See more ideas about Deep thoughts, Thoughts, Deep thoughts jack handy. Here are Jack’s thoughts on money. First of all, who knew that Jack Handey, made infamous by the Saturday Night Live "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" bits from 1991 to 1998, was a real guy? 2 Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. 6 If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.” Joke from Jack Handy Posts about Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts] written by Jennifer Bichara. 11 I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny. See more ideas about Deep thoughts, Thoughts, Deep thoughts jack handy. By using LiveAbout, you accept our, 'Saturday Night Live' Sketches Made Into Movies, 25 Hilarious Yearbook Quotes That Belong In The Smart Ass Hall of Fame, A Father's Guide to Managing Stress at Home, The Best Saturday Night Live Christmas Sketches, 20 Stand up Comedians Who Totally Get What It's like to Be a Parent, The 25 Best Satirical News Articles from 'The Onion', Lee Trevino Quotes: 30 Great Quips About Golf and Life, The Best Quotes From and About the Legendary Madonna, 25 People Who Accidentally Found Their Doppelgangers at the Museum. * If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go...because man, they're gone! I plan to look them up and read them. Deep Thoughts: 34 Hilarious Jack Handey Quotes You may be wondering “Who is Jack Handey” and “Is he an infomercial product?” Lucky for you, we have …
3 Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers? For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. Do any of you remember those “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey” bits that used to appear on Saturday Night Live a long time ago? Joke from Jack Handy Jack Handy is still alive and lives with his wife in New Mexico… meaning that when passes on, I will be forced to hold a Jack Handy Memorial Party. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. Mike Durrett has spent more than a decade writing about comedy on the web. Joke from Jack Handy If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now. Quotephotography.com is the site for Cash Advance.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it. LiveAbout uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. Jack Handy is a not-so-famous comedian who’s surrealistic one liner jokes entitled “Deep Thoughts” were made much more famous than he ever was by the television show Saturday Night Live.Born in Texas in 1949, Jack Handy had his first book published by National Lampoon in 1984.
It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. In fact, they're kind of scary. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks.". That's right, I'm about to blow your mind. To me, clowns aren't funny. - Jack Handey. Joke from Jack Handy Jack Handy is a not-so-famous comedian who’s surrealistic one liner jokes entitled “Deep Thoughts” were made much more famous than he ever was by the television show Saturday Night Live. Find Cash Advance, Debt Consolidation and more at Quotephotography.com. Nov 2, 2019 - Explore Cathy's board "Jack Handey Deep Thoughts" on Pinterest. Joke from Jack Handy Joke from Jack Handy Joke from Jack Handy Explore Daniella Tjahjanto's photos on Flickr. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." It's true!
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. On the website Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, the funny moments live on even decades after the segments stopped airing on SNL. Joke from Jack Handy. 7 To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other. Apparently he has also published a series of articles in the New Yorker and several books. Relaxing music played over pastoral scenes, increasing the feeling that you were watching a very Zen relaxation video... yet when coupled by the acerbic thoughts of Jack Handey, REAL GUY, the quick sketches became a favorite among viewers. Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies. 1 I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. A Little Background on Deep Thoughts. 9 I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long.
Get the best of Insurance or Free Credit Report, browse our section on Cell Phones or learn about Life Insurance. The Official "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" Website. To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. All of these quotes are replicated here courtesy of Jack Handey's Official Website. Saturday Night Live used to include these very short bits in between their comedy sketches. This article was updated by Beverly Jenkins on November 15, 2016. “Oh no,” I said, “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. Joke from Jack Handy 5 As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. He's a writer who also worked on some very funny SNL sketches like (a personal favorite of mine) "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" and "Toonces the Driving Cat.". Saturday Night Live used to include these very short bits in between their comedy sketches.Originally, the Deep Thoughts bits featured the voice of Phil Hartman (RIP) in the introduction, then Jack Handey, REAL GUY, would read the surprising, iconic, and always hilarious statements. But only if you’re serious about adopting the vulture. Joke from Jack Handy Here are a few Deep Thoughts to remind you of why they're awesome.